I’m Not Bad, I’m Just Different.

I often feel like the most out of place person in my entire life. For a long time, I considered the things that make me different as bad. Oftentimes, I still do. But, recently I was reminded of my worth as a unique individual by my amazing grandma. Noticing my struggle with my self-esteem, she created a beautiful painting of a messy little girl clutching a heart-shaped balloon. She called it, “I’m not bad, I’m just different.”

I don’t know about you, but I hear the word “different” associated with myself, and mind instantly flies to these sorts of things:

The fact that I prefer room temperature water to ice water (I know, it’s weird).

My enjoyment of discussing psychology and rhetoric when I’m feeling sad.

The way I turn my life drama into interesting dialogue for my English assignment (it’s great, you kill two birds with one stone: therapy and homework!)

My inexplicable love of highland cows.

My preference of jicama sticks to candy (white, crunchy vegetable that no one’s heard of for the win!)

I could look at myself and say, “What the flip, girl? You’re SO WEIRD.” Or, I could see myself and say, "Lainee, I think you’re cool. You’re different, and you know it, but you can use that different to make a positive impact on the world. You go girl!”

When I get down on myself for being different or am frustrated with someone else for being different than I want, I try to remember this: No person is inherently bad, and no person should be looked upon or treated as such. People sometimes do bad things, and that doesn’t make it right. But people can change. People can choose to be different. Can choose to be kind. Can choose to not be so afraid of fear. And really, I don’t think we’re so very different at all. Everyone wants to be happy. Everyone wants to feel like they are good enough. We all share, if nothing else, the miracle of being alive right here, right now.

So, yes, different is scary sometimes. Different is weird sometimes. But let's not let our fear of different keep us from seeing how beautiful that “different” can be.